Forgive...Like It Or Not

In everything, therefore, treat people

the same way you want them to treat

you, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

Matthew 7:12

Through the years, no matter my job, I have found myself in a position of talking with a lot of ladies who mostly needed someone to listen to them vent their problems. It's amazing how many of those ladies were undergoing stress due to a long or short term unforgiving spirit. I have often walked away smiling after listening for an hour to just such a one. As we parted, such a lady would often say, “Thank you Glendarae...you always seem to know just what to say that makes me feel better.” In reality, I probably said very few words except to maybe pray with her before parting. I can't tell you how often I've found that what most of we women need in the worst of ways is to quit talking about the issue of forgiveness and decide to forgive and be done with it.

Peter and Jesus got into a discussion one day when Peter asked Jesus how often he should forgive a brother who it would seem had hurt Peter. Peter asked Jesus if he should forgive the culprit up to seven times. Jesus then threw Peter a curve ball. Jesus told Peter to forget the seven times but to forgive seventy times seven. Do you know how many times that is? 70X7=490 I don't know about you but if there is someone in my lives who deliberately wounds me over and over, 490 times of forgiving one person for causing so much hurt sounds like a lot of forgiving to me.

Remember Jacob and Esau in the Old Testament. Jacob with the help of his mom rooked Esau out of his rightful inheritance and blessing. Esau threatened to kill his brother. I don't think in our day, they could have found an unbiased jury that would have condemned Esau if he had killed Jacob. Jacob fled with family and belongings and for many years there was no contact between the brothers. The day did come when they were reconciled but prior to that it was Jacob, the culprit who made the move in this process. He didn't know if he and his family would live through it, but they did. Esau welcomed his brother with open arms in a spirit of forgiveness.

I should remind us of a phrase in Jesus' prayer He used to teach His disciples how to pray. It was never meant to be a prayer to be sung or recited even though there's nothing wrong with doing that. We find this prayer in two places...Matthew and Luke. In Matthew 6:12, we read: “And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” This is a phrase that causes me a great deal of introspection. I see that:

      * I am to pray to God to forgive me of my debts, trespasses and sin...
      * AS I have forgiven those who have offended or hurt me.

How does that level out? Who in that process is to forgive the most...me or God? Nope...as much as He forgives me, that's how much I am to forgive those who hurt me. I really don't like that, but I know that God knows what He's asking us to do. I have found in the middle of misunderstandings and hurt that the stronger Christian will make the first move to reconcile and that's very difficult. The part of this that is really of concern to me is how much of God's forgiveness has been mine that goes unclaimed when I haven't been willing to forgive.

I wish I could recall how many women have said to me something like this: “I won't forgive her until she apologizes to me. She's in the wrong and she owes me an apology.” That's a very human response but what was Jesus' response in the most difficult of circumstances? While hanging on the cross, one of His final statements was: “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” When Jesus expressed that from the cross, we are not told of hundreds who could have gathered at the foot of the cross begging Jesus to forgive them for their wrong doings. He was forgiving people in general from generation to generation. Jesus' desire for all was that they might have God's unconditional forgiveness.

I don't know about you but I've never hung on a cross, let alone the rest of the torture Jesus endured beyond the cross. And yet, Jesus hanging on that cross prayed that God would forgive “them.” Theologians have argued for years who Jesus was talking about. Was it the soldiers who tortured him? Was it the soldiers who nailed Him to the cross? The Roman soldiers who were on crucifixion duty were specialists. It was their regular job...was it them? Was it His disciples who had “gotten outta Dodge?” Was it for everyone who had ever lived? Was it for all of those who were yet to come? I don't think it matters...He prayed for God's forgiveness of all that I believe included even you and me.

We are to pattern our lives after Jesus' life. It's a huge order but with Holy Spirit power (not in our own strength) we are to forgive, and forgive, and forgive on up to 490 times. By then, we'll be in the groove of forgiving, but forgiving when offended will never be easy.

What is our responsibility in all of this?

*Don't take on the attitude that we are never an offender because we are and we need to be sensitive to the feelings of others.

*When I know I've offended someone, I should apologize to that person whether that person will forgive me or not.

*Forgive when offended, no matter what case we've made against the offender.

*The offender won't always apologize. Realize there are times when the offender may not know she's offended you. Don't approach the offender with your hurt. Let the Lord do the convicting and we do the forgiving.

*Pray for the offender and be nice to her when you see her or talk to her.

*Rest in the freedom of spirit you can experience when you let go of it all, giving it to the Lord and walking away from it.

May I add a word of common sense here? If you come in and rob my house, you're caught and arrested. You go to trial and are convicted. I would hope I would forgive you but let me quickly add that the state and criminal justice system knows next to nothing about forgiveness. Their job is to see that criminals, like you would be at that point, sentenced and sent to prison. I've been talking about the everyday interactions with people in general and our spiritual responsibility in being women of forgiveness.

Last of all, let me suggest that we all learn to forgive ourselves. We've all messed up at one time or another. We've said the wrong thing, done the wrong things...sometimes deliberately and at other times purely unplanned and certainly not deliberate. If God forgives us which He certainly does, there's no way He wants us to continue carrying the load of unforgiveness. If we have repented before God and with anyone we may have hurt or offended, then we've done all we can do. We must learn from whatever the situation and move on in Jesus steps. Moving on will be a choice. As Jesus prayed His prayer from the cross, perhaps our prayer should be, when offended by another, “Father, forgive her for she doesn't really understand how much she has hurt me...In this moment, I forgive her.” Every time we forgive, no matter the circumstances, we become more and more like Jesus!

Thank You, dear Jesus for your example of forgiveness. I thank You for all the times You forgive me when I know I don't deserve a moment of Your consideration. I want to be like You but I need the strengthening of Your Spirit to help me live life like You would have me walk. I love You, Jesus, and thank You for all You have done for me. Amen

Cross Your Heart???

 

For by these He has granted to us

His precious and magnificent promises,

so that by them you may become partakers

of the divine nature...

II Peter 1:4

It was Junior High School and in a math class, when a girlfriend sitting right behind me tapped me on the shoulder and passed me a note that was from someone behind her. I opened it to find a brief note that any seventh grade girl would die for. It said: “Glendarae, if you like me then I like you. Write me back. Love (guys first name).” Oh man, I thought I had died and gone to Heaven. I was amazingly restrained for me and waited until the next day, same class, same friend behind me to return my answer to him. By the way, this was one of the nicest boys you could find anywhere...never in trouble, nice looking, quiet...everything a Mother would want for her daughter. I had carefully crafted my note the night before and in a very original way, it read: Dear ****, If you like me then I like you. Love, Glendarae” Toward the end of the class, I gave it to my girlfriend to give to the young man. I said to my girlfriend, “Promise me you'll give this to **** and that you won't tell anyone about this note.” She promised...I said, “Cross your heart and hope to die?” Yep, she promised all of that. I added,”Stick a needle in your eye?” Yep, she promised that too so I gave her the note. That's what we used to say to nail someone down on a promise.

The next day, I went to band class. I played the saxophone at the time. My girlfriend who passed my note played clarinet and her section was directly across from the saxophone section. Everyone was getting their instruments out, preparing for the band teacher's arrival. All of a sudden, the entire clarinet section stood (about 15 of them) and suddenly the clarinet section began to almost chant together: Dear***, If you like me then I like you. Love, Glendarae” I've been embarrassed many times in my life but nothing like that day. My girlfriend had promised...”Cross my heart and hope to die (I was ready to arrange that) and I'll stick a needle in my eye.” (She wouldn't have to...I would do it for her for free with more than one needle).

You probably can remember promises made to you by people down through the years. When someone says, “I promise” to us, we count on that promise being carried out. When I was in high school, we often said to each other things prefaced with “I promise.” I don't think that's the norm today. We need to realize though that when we give our word to someone, that's like a promise to the other person. However, we live in a day when people aren't true to promises or their word. People take on debt knowing they can't pay their bills. Today, couples recite vows to each other at the marriage altar and those vows may go by the wayside a few years later. We may agree to meet someone for lunch and we just don't show up. I've seen people pledge money to special fund raising at church knowing full well they can't meet that obligation., fulfilling that promise. Are we people of our word or aren't we?

The one thing I'm so thankful for is that we have a God who keeps His Word. He even backed up his promises by sending His Son, true to His Old Testament Word to die for you and me. One can read the Old Testament and see where God was faithful to His Word and prophecies given to His people. Throughout the Old Testament as we see all of the characteristics of God, one we find among many and that you and I can emulate is that of keeping promises.

There are times when in the course of everyday life, I need a list of promises from the Bible I can hang onto. Several years ago, some kind of survey was taken among Christians. This survey boiled things down to 21 top promises from the Bible. You and I know there are hundreds of them, however, a dear friend gave me this list and I'm happy to share them with you. Some you will recognize by their references but let me encourage you to open your Bible and go through these promises. It may be on a day when you really need to hear from God through His Word. On days like that, it's amazing how He speaks to me so clearly through the power of His Word.

 

Deuteronomy 7:9      Psalm 23:4               Psalm 55:22

Psalm 91:14             Psalm 103:12,13       Proverbs 3:6

Isaiah 43:2               Jeremiah 30:17         Luke 6:38

John 3:16                 John 6:35-40            John 11:25,26

Romans 8:28-39       I Corinthians 2:9      Ephesians 2:8

Philippians 4:7          Hebrews 13:6          James 4:7,8

2 Peter 3:9                I John 1:9                Revelation 21:4

We don't even have to ask God to “Cross His heart.” God is so vested in us with a love we can't begin to comprehend that He is always true to His Word. Unlike the best of friends who may mean well, God is incapable of failing us. I would hope that I can be just as faithful in my promises to Him as He is with me.

Dear Father, thank You for Your every promise to me and Your fulfilling every one of them. You have proven Your love for me with every promise You have made to me. You have proven to me that although the best of people in my life may let me down, You never will.

I'm so appreciative for Your kept promises as well as Your love that I will never understand. Amen!

Staying on the Trail

He has told you, O man, what is good;

And what does the LORD require of you

but to do justice, to love kindness,

and to walk humbly with your God?

Micah 6:14

I don't know of anyone who likes boundaries or enjoys observing them. Boundaries started for us we were old enough to begin creeping and then crawling from one room to another. Most parents invested in something that restrained our movement. My Mother had a play pen for us girls and I had one I used with our three children. Today, they are called play scapes because it supposedly sounds better than “play pen.” If play scapes aren't used, parents often purchase gates that will keep little ones out of certain rooms. They may move a small piece of furniture such as a kitchen chair turned on it's side to keep a child safe. Even at very young ages, little ones hate having their activity curbed.

 

Teens don't like having their activities curbed either. They say they don't understand the reason for so many rules and regulations, but if truth be known, even though they don't like them, they feel a love and safety because of them. They don't realize that they are being equipped for adulthood whereby they will be able to discern, make good judgments, and know about appropriate choices. Boundaries above all provide safety during the growth process.

 

 

Boundaries are very important here in the mountains. We have no ambulance service right here in our small town. When there is an emergency in our town or on this side of the national park, it is disturbing to we locals if an ambulance has to go into the park area. That ambulance has had to come from the next town over. When we hear a ambulance siren, we know that something very serious has happened, especially if it goes on into the park. Since we have moved here, we've known of two drownings, two persons missing and some lesser events not so much tragic in nature.

It can be a very scarey thing getting lost in a mountainous national park. Tourists are provided with every kind of information to keep them safe along with informative signs found all over the place. There are maps of every kind for those interested in hiking, swimming, tubing and general observing. Invariably, there are those who start out on a hiking trail but feel they know enough that they can veer from the trail and do a little of their own exploring. Unsupervised children may run ahead of parents on a trail and end up falling or may leave the parents camp site to do some exploring. In time past, massive searches have had to be activated for lost children and even lost adults when a person, young or old has been reported missing. Most often they have walked away from boundaries and warnings to do their own thing.

There is usually a high price to pay when boundaries aren't observed by children and young people. The prices to pay can be very high when rules are ignored, parents wishes put to one side, or school rules thrown to the wind. Eventually, such young people often find themselves lost because they got off of the trail of right and there are no rangers to come to their rescue. 

 

It's easy to point a finger at the young but as an adult, whether we realize it or not, we are faced with God-given boundaries every day. God's concern for us is the very same as any concern for the very young. When we ignore God's limits, then we have left the area of His very personal care. When we go beyond God's boundaries, Satan waits, “licking his chops” ready to pounce on us. We can be led astray just as easily as young people and children. The sad thing is that we really do know better but choose to do our own thing anyway.

 

Where do we learn boundaries, because we have them from our youngest years whether we are aware of it or not. First boundaries are introduced from birth through our time with parents in our homes. During that time, we also learn boundaries in every school we attend. Society presents it's version of boundaries even though society is often confused regarding what boundaries really are. Government has laws that govern our activity, behavior and lives in general. In any of those areas, the ignoring of boundaries can be critical. The most important boundaries, though, are given to us from God Himself. His boundaries generally coincide with boundaries in life as we've come to know them.

 

So what can we do? Micah 6:8 gives us three things that give us a starting point. Note that at the very beginning of our opening verse that God has already taught us what is good and right to do. God isn't unfair to expect us to know the rules and expectations without His making them known to us. The three things given that are listed in this verse are excellent places to begin. We just have to decide to stay within the boundaries of them.

 

First, Micah says for us to do justice (right.) It doesn't take a brilliant person to understand that one phrase. I have spoken with women who have foolishly gone ahead with their own plans despite knowing that what they are about to do is wrong. That person, most often is lying to herself. If an adult has been a Christian any length of time, has been under the teaching and preaching of God's Word, she doesn't really need someone to draw pictures for her at the time of making decisions. Every born again Christian has the Holy Spirit residing within them and the Holy Spirit wonderfully prompts us with warnings or go-ahead nudges. Each of us must determine sometime, somewhere in life that we are bottom line going to do what is right. That's tough but won't happen without our determination.

 

Next, Micah says we are to love mercy (kindness). This has more to do with our treatment of others than God's treatment of us. When you and I show mercy and kindness to others, we are loving, forgiving, patient and caring. It is here we could list the fruit of the Spirit found in Galatians 5. God knows we know all of these things but the decision is ours as far as our obedience regarding each one.

 

Lastly, Micah tells us to walk humbly with your God. I tend to think that when we do this one thing, all the rest of the verse will fall into place. For children to do what parents ask of them takes humility, a yielding to authority. It takes the same humility for a married couple to yield to each other, an employee to an employer and a common ordinary woman to her Heavenly Father. Notice that this process is like taking a walk with someone else. When we walk with someone, it's because we enjoy being with the person. When we walk in harmony with our Heavenly Father in close communion, we will be encouraged with every step to do what is right, to be merciful in every way possible and to be a person of humility.

 

Let's determine to stay on the path or trail that has been put before us, not veering to the left or right. May we determine to walk in obedience, doing right, showering others with mercy and walking in humility with our Heavenly Father. Life won't ever be perfect on this earth but we can walk the spiritual trails set before us in the peace that only doing what is right brings.

Jesus is the best ranger we could ever want on this trail of life.

Dear Father, thank You for Your guidance in my life. Help me to be receptive to Your quiet voice and live a life of obedience. Keep me sensitive to the needs of others. I love You. Amen.

Beautiful Life of Prayer

                                           That ye might walk worthy of the Lord

unto all pleasing, being fruitful in

every good work, and increasing in

the knowledge of God.

Colossians 1:10

She walked right by my open office door that particular winter day. It wasn't unusual in a large downtown church to see something similar on a regular basis. She was a lady in her latter 60's and that's a guess on my part. She wore her gray hair pulled tightly to the back of her head combed into a very neat bun. She had on a full length winter coat that wasn't the most stylish. In her left hand was a well-worn purse and in her right hand was a relatively small suitcase. In a very sweet voice, I heard her ask our receptionist if she could see the pastor. “Lotsa luck,” I thought to myself. People waited long weeks for an appointment with him. Sometimes we staff members couldn't even see him with if we had work questions. However, there was something different about this situation, so the receptionist called the pastor's office. He agreed to see this lady (who by the way had the most radiant of smiles that broke out across her face, a face with hardly a wrinkle).

After several minutes, the pastor asked a secretary to take this lady to the church's guest apartment where she could stay until an apartment could be found for her. She had no money...only a small pension and no means of transportation. She had arrived on a Greyhound bus and walked from the terminal that was a few blocks away from the church. For some of us who had gathered outside his door after she had gone to the guest apartment, we asked what was going on. He had a wondering look on his face and said...”She is moving here. She has no family left and she's come to our town to pray for the ministry and people of this church.”

Many of us came to know how very special Ruth Bartell was. In her younger years, she had done some modeling. She had an almost constant smile that was radiant. Her husband, a pastor had died and was buried I think in Michigan where she had a grave plot for when it would be necessary for her own internment. She had no children or family members left. For several days, Mrs. Bartell lived in the church apartment while some of us looked at apartments close to the church. They were either too expensive or too cruddy. The decision was made to let Mrs. Bartell live in the church apartment for the time being. As years went by, I wasn't there but I understand she lived there until about the time the Lord called her home.

We came to know how serious Mrs. Bartell was regarding her commitment to prayer. Keep in mind that this church ran in the thousands. She kept a series of cheap spiral notebooks. In those notebooks were names and prayer requests. She listed every staff member along with family member's names. She did the same with deacons (over 100) listing every family member along with any special requests. She had the choir listed as well and on and on it went. She went to bed every night (except a church night) at 8:00 because she wanted to be up by 4 or 5:00 am to begin her practice.

 

Every year, we had a huge pastor's conference. It fell my lot to do a major decorating job the Sunday night prior to Monday's registration of hundred's of pastors. I had no time to go home to even wash my face. Prior to the last time I performed this duty, Mrs. Bartell came to me on Sunday morning prior to the conference. She said: “When you are finished in the morning, I want you to come to the apartment, take a bath, eat some breakfast I'll fix for you ...no matter what time it is, I want you to come.” I knocked on her door at 5:30 on Monday morning. I don't know how she knew but she had run a bath for me with wonderful bath salts in it. She hoped I didn't mind if she had put the bath salts in the water. She had received a sample and wanted me to enjoy it. She told me to soak and take my time and when I came out, we would have breakfast.

She hoped I wouldn't mind if she went back to her devotional time while I bathed and I certainly didn't mind. While in that bathtub, I experienced something I never had before or since. Mrs. Bartell began to pray out loud. I felt like I was being ushered into God's throne room. She then began to read Scripture aloud. After that she sang a hymn (all 5 verses) and then she went to her notebooks, those precious and ragged spiral notebooks. I knew that praying for others was sacred and I would never tell a soul of what I heard. I soaked in that bathtub until my skin was beginning to look like prunes. I didn't want to get out of the tub and dry off. I wanted to linger but knew I couldn't.

She heard me empty the tub so when I left the bathroom, I smelled the aroma of hot toast. I sat down to hot tea, toast with orange marmalade. She prayed again, especially for me and my family, and the classes I would teach that week. I almost felt I had God's hand on me like I hadn't sensed in a long time. She told me she hoped she hadn't disturbed my bath time but that she liked to stay on schedule. By 10:00 am she usually stopped her routine to do any daily chores or errand running. Early afternoon, she would write letters for sometimes two hours and would then repeat her morning routine the rest of the afternoon.

Oh yes, letters....when you received one from Mrs. Bartell, it was a treasure. She wrote her greetings at the beginning of her letters much like Paul would in his epistles. She would then copy Scriptures she had been reading early that morning. On the back was always a hymn, copied word for word, all verses and chorus...a hymn she had sung that morning. You felt like you had received a letter straight from God. Every letter was written by hand.

I don't believe I have ever known anyone like Ruth Bartell in my lifetime. She probably had only a couple of dresses for church. People would try to take her to buy her a dress but she would smile and say, “I have plenty of clothes; thank you for thinking about me.” If people gave her money, most of the time she would put it in the offering plate. She hadn't come for money, dresses or anything other than she had come to our church to pray.

Can't help but wonder how many lives were changed, people saved, families strengthened because of a lovely widow who walked into our church office that cold, winter day. She didn't want anything but the privilege of spending out her days in hours of prayer and worship on behalf of our church. Mrs. Bartells tools for the task were simple...well worn Bible, hymn book, pen and paper and of course, those precious spiral notebooks. Most church members really didn't have any idea the God-given gift of Mrs. Bartell to us, a dear lady of God who turned a small church apartment into a cathedral.

Dear Father...Thank you for godly examples that have blessed my life. Forgive my waste of time when there are so many who could benefit from my prayers. Forgive me for thinking I have to have so many things when two or three spiral notebooks would do. Stir in me an urgency to be in my Bible more than I am and to be a woman of prayer like never before. I love You. Amen