In
everything, therefore, treat people
the
same way you want them to treat
you,
for this is the Law and the Prophets.
Matthew
7:12
Through
the years, no matter my job, I have found myself in a position of
talking with a lot of ladies who mostly needed someone to listen to
them vent their problems. It's amazing how many of those ladies were
undergoing stress due to a long or short term unforgiving spirit. I
have often walked away smiling after listening for an hour to just
such a one. As we parted, such a lady would often say, “Thank you
Glendarae...you always seem to know just what to say that makes me
feel better.” In reality, I probably said very few words except to
maybe pray with her before parting. I can't tell you how often
I've found that what most of we women need in the worst of ways is to
quit talking about the issue of forgiveness and decide to forgive and
be done with it.
Peter
and Jesus got into a discussion one day when Peter asked Jesus how
often he should forgive a brother who it would seem had hurt Peter.
Peter asked Jesus if he should forgive the culprit up to seven times.
Jesus then threw Peter a curve ball. Jesus told Peter to forget
the seven times but to forgive seventy times seven. Do you know how
many times that is? 70X7=490 I don't know about you but if there
is someone in my lives who deliberately wounds me over and over, 490
times of forgiving one person for causing so much hurt sounds like a
lot of forgiving to me.
Remember
Jacob and Esau in the Old Testament. Jacob with the help of his mom
rooked Esau out of his rightful inheritance and blessing. Esau
threatened to kill his brother. I don't think in our day, they could
have found an unbiased jury that would have condemned Esau if he had
killed Jacob. Jacob fled with family and belongings and for many
years there was no contact between the brothers. The day did come
when they were reconciled but prior to that it was Jacob, the culprit
who made the move in this process. He didn't know if he and his
family would live through it, but they did. Esau welcomed his
brother with open arms in a spirit of forgiveness.
I
should remind us of a phrase in Jesus' prayer He used to teach His
disciples how to pray. It was never meant to be a prayer to be sung
or recited even though there's nothing wrong with doing that. We
find this prayer in two places...Matthew and Luke. In Matthew 6:12,
we read: “And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our
debtors.” This is a phrase that causes me a great deal of
introspection. I see that:
* I am to pray to God to forgive me of my debts, trespasses and sin...
* AS I have forgiven those who have offended or hurt me.
How
does that level out? Who in that process is to forgive the most...me
or God? Nope...as much as He forgives me, that's how much I am to
forgive those who hurt me. I really don't like that, but I know that
God knows what He's asking us to do. I have found in the middle of
misunderstandings and hurt that the stronger Christian will make the
first move to reconcile and that's very difficult. The part of this
that is really of concern to me is how much of God's forgiveness has
been mine that goes unclaimed when I haven't been willing to forgive.
I
wish I could recall how many women have said to me something like
this: “I won't forgive her until she apologizes to me. She's in
the wrong and she owes me an apology.” That's a very human
response but what was Jesus' response in the most difficult of
circumstances? While hanging on the cross, one of His final
statements was: “Father, forgive them for they know not what they
do.” When Jesus expressed that from the cross, we are not told of
hundreds who could have gathered at the foot of the cross begging
Jesus to forgive them for their wrong doings. He was forgiving
people in general from generation to generation. Jesus' desire for
all was that they might have God's unconditional forgiveness.
I
don't know about you but I've never hung on a cross, let alone the
rest of the torture Jesus endured beyond the cross. And yet, Jesus
hanging on that cross prayed that God would forgive “them.”
Theologians have argued for years who Jesus was talking about. Was
it the soldiers who tortured him? Was it the soldiers who nailed Him
to the cross? The Roman soldiers who were on crucifixion duty were
specialists. It was their regular job...was it them? Was it His
disciples who had “gotten outta Dodge?” Was it for everyone who
had ever lived? Was it for all of those who were yet to come? I
don't think it matters...He prayed for God's forgiveness of all that
I believe included even you and me.
We
are to pattern our lives after Jesus' life. It's a huge order but
with Holy Spirit power (not in our own strength) we are to forgive,
and forgive, and forgive on up to 490 times. By then, we'll be in
the groove of forgiving, but forgiving when offended will never be
easy.
What
is our responsibility in all of this?
*Don't
take on the attitude that we are never an offender because we are and
we need to be sensitive to the feelings of others.
*When
I know I've offended someone, I should apologize to that person
whether that person will forgive me or not.
*Forgive
when offended, no matter what case we've made against the offender.
*The
offender won't always apologize. Realize there are times when the
offender may not know she's offended you. Don't approach the
offender with your hurt. Let the Lord do the convicting and we do
the forgiving.
*Pray
for the offender and be nice to her when you see her or talk to her.
*Rest
in the freedom of spirit you can experience when you let go of it
all, giving it to the Lord and walking away from it.
May
I add a word of common sense here? If you come in and rob my house,
you're caught and arrested. You go to trial and are convicted. I
would hope I would forgive you but let me quickly add that the state
and criminal justice system knows next to nothing about forgiveness.
Their job is to see that criminals, like you would be at that point,
sentenced and sent to prison. I've been talking about the everyday
interactions with people in general and our spiritual responsibility
in being women of forgiveness.
Last
of all, let me suggest that we all learn to forgive ourselves. We've
all messed up at one time or another. We've said the wrong thing,
done the wrong things...sometimes deliberately and at other times
purely unplanned and certainly not deliberate. If God forgives us
which He certainly does, there's no way He wants us to continue
carrying the load of unforgiveness. If we have repented before God
and with anyone we may have hurt or offended, then we've done all we
can do. We must learn from whatever the situation and move on in
Jesus steps. Moving on will be a choice. As Jesus prayed His prayer
from the cross, perhaps our prayer should be, when offended by
another, “Father, forgive her for she doesn't really understand
how much she has hurt me...In this moment, I forgive her.” Every
time we forgive, no matter the circumstances, we become more and more
like Jesus!
Thank
You, dear Jesus for your example of forgiveness. I thank You for all
the times You forgive me when I know I don't deserve a moment of Your
consideration. I want to be like You but I need the strengthening of
Your Spirit to help me live life like You would have me walk. I
love You, Jesus, and thank You for all You have done for me. Amen
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