If It Be Possible

Usually I begin a blog with a verse of Scripture but will work that Scripture in shortly. Many readers of this blog have experienced a goodly amount of life. I'm not saying everyone is old who reads this, but even if someone is thirty years old, she's had thirty years to observe the idiosyncrasies of people around her. Some things are pleasant, a blessing and helpful in our observations of others. However, there are often people in our lives, who to be honest, are nothing but a pain in the neck, a real spiritual challenge that tests our patience and our emotional state.

Several years ago, Joyce Landorf wrote a book entitled “Irregular People.” I thought that was a good title for the book that she wrote concerning those folks who come into our lives who seem bent on making our lives as miserable as possible...who for their own reasons choose to not be in a healthy relationship with us. She spoke of those folks as people who have no intention of getting along with us, who often seem to go out of their way to keep us in a state of turmoil. They can't be made happy no matter what we do. They stay offended at us and probably a lot of other people as well.

Off and on during my life, I have come across some women (not all at once thankfully) who I was never able to please. In each case, they were ladies who were easily offended. In some cases, I could apologize to them, often not even knowing what I was apologizing for. After an apology, they would move on to the next thing they wanted to be upset about. It was usually a guessing game and to be honest, it wore me down and kept me agitated all the time.

A very good friend posted a verse of Scripture on my Face Book recently that I'm sure I've read more times than I can count. It is such a freeing verse that has freed me of a good deal of guilt when it comes to getting along with impossible people. I realize we are all sinners. Even though we don't mean to, we mess up. Hopefully as Christians, we can learn to forgive the mistakes of others as well as forgiving ourselves for all of our own human frailties. Some of these things, however, can hold us captive for years and there is no person on the face of the earth that should have that kind of power over us. These three ladies I'm thinking of held me captive and they didn't even know it (or maybe they did).

So what is this freeing word of Scripture? I wish I had space to copy the nine verses prior to this one verse, but the one I will copy has been more helpful to me than I can put into words. I do encourage you to read those nine verses though. Read verse 18 slowly and think about what its meaning might have for you. Someone might come to your mind, someone you can never please, but that leaves you feeling guilty.

If it be possible,

as much as lieth in you,

live peaceably with all men.

Romans 12:18

We want to live peaceably with folks be they friends or family members. That's our end of the deal no matter how we are treated by others. Check out the three phrases in this verse:

“IF it be possible...”.

Why haven't we learned yet that there are those who set out to be resistant, uncaring and unloving people. They fall into the category of being impossible challenges. They feel powerful when they hold negative sway in the lives of others. Folks like this, without major change, will be impossible to deal with unless they allow the Lord to change them. So we can ask ourselves, “Have I done everything possible to do what is right in this situation?” If we have, then we should loosen our grip on the situation and at least mentally, walk away if only for a brief time.

“As much as LIETH IN you...”

Here comes our part. We don't have to keep struggling with such folks, but we are expected to give them every opportunity to do what's right. We aren't to show revenge even though it's a temptation. We can be friendly and available but not captive. As much effort as we can give the relationship, we are to do, but not to the point of a nervous breakdown. Otherwise, we are to give this situation our best effort to arrive at an agreeable relationship. It might work...and it might not.

Live PEACEABLY with all men.

As much as we can, we are to be peaceable women who strive to get along with others as Christ would have us do. This phrase doesn't mean that we are to be best friends with everyone. We can't be too disappointed though when our efforts are rebuffed by a person who seemingly wants to rule our world. If such a person in our lives chooses to not speak or to cause turmoil in our lives in order to punish us, we can still be kind, speaking and being congenial when the opportunity presents itself. We can only be responsible for our own behavior.

If we make every effort to mend relationships, that's all we can do. I can't change the heart of another person. Only the Holy Spirit can change a person. Showing goodwill toward such an impossible person must not be done with ulterior motives, but out of showing the love of Christ for the person. We are to do what we can and then perhaps back off for a time and allow the Lord to work. One of the most important things we can do is to earnestly pray for this person. Prayer is a powerful thing, the most wonderful thing we can do for another. Not only can it work some wonderful things in another individual, but it can also give us a peace that passes all understanding.

Lord Jesus, grant me wisdom as I deal with people in my life who at times seem impossible to get along with. Help me to always take inventory of my own attitudes and shortcomings. May You, Holy Spirit, convict me of my shortcomings and help me to take responsibility for my own negative attitudes. I love You and want to please You in every way.. Amen