Lost Relationships

A new commandment I give unto you,

That ye love one another; as I have

loved you, that ye also love one

another. By this shall all men know that

ye are my disciples, if ye have love

one to another. 

John 13:34-35

They happen in the course of life...lost relationships. There are relationships in our lives that change or are altered in some ways that aren't to our liking. Marriage, relocation, illness, divorce, death, job transfers and even relationships we were meant to have for only a certain time are things that can affect relationships and friendships with others for a very long time. In many cases, people can work through some of those things, but it takes a lot of forgiveness, love and patience to work through obstacles that affected a close relationship with another.

I have for sometime, struggled with a lost relationship. It has been a heartbreak I can't even describe. I've done every thing I know to do to try to mend things. I may even have apologized for breathing. Experience tells me that this person is not a forgiving person, who almost thrives on situations like this. As a Christian, I can't be satisfied with being at odds with anyone. I believe God's people are supposed to love each other and get along, be they friends or family. It doesn't mean they will be best friends but at least can be friendly and caring.

There is comfort for me as I look at Scripture. Jacob and Esau had some real problems. There was a lot of family conflict with one brother finally determined to kill the other. In later life they were able to reconcile, but a lot of time was wasted. There was much jealousy in Joseph's family with him being the favored child above 11 brothers. Those brothers really went overboard in selling Joseph off to traveling merchants. Much later in years, when Joseph was second in power in Egypt, he ended up being the person who saved the lives of his family. Joseph could see that although his brothers had meant what they did for evil that God had meant it for good and that was certainly verified. Paul mentioned two ladies in Philippians 4 who were at odds with each other to the point that he encouraged some church members to mediate a reconciliation between them. Job went through a time of real loss...family, wealth and health as well. After awhile, all his wife could say was that he should just curse God and die.

Some of the above relationships were mended after a period of time. However, the lost relationship between David and Saul was never mended. They started out on good terms with David serving as a friend and musician for Saul but unfortunately, jealousy raised it's ugly head in Saul's heart and things were never again the same, even up to the time of Saul’s death. The same is true with David and his son Absalom. Absalom did all he could to take the throne away from his father, but in the end Saul died in battle with nothing being resolved between them.

I wish I could tell you how often someone has said to me, “I can never forgive her no matter what.” That is a strong and ugly statement. It is so full of ungodly pride that it is pitiful. I can't even imagine Jesus having such an attitude. True, God expects repentance from us for sin we've committed, but His love is sure and isn't going anywhere unlike some folks in our lives who want to dump us when we have disappointed them.

If we aren't careful, there is something that can happen in all of our lives that can trap us. Many of us can remember the old black records we used to play on a phonograph. We had to be careful putting the arm down on the record with the needle attached. If a scratch occurred, then every time the record would play it would repeat over and over three or four words at the point of the damage. The needle was caught in a scratch. The record for the most part became useless and was fit for the trash can. I think the same can happen with us. We can get deeply hurt (scratched) and in our minds, we play the offense over and over and over and over again. We tell whoever will listen of the same offense time and time again. I recently spent some time with a friend who has been deeply hurt by a family member. She relayed that incident to me several times while I was with her. In fact, she was word perfect in going over it as if she hadn't ever told me or anyone else about it. I thought of a scratched record.

Here's the thing about a scratch on that record...if it is allowed to play over and over, the needle will deepen the scratch and it will only turn into a gouge. The more we play over hurts with others in our minds, the more the hurt goes deeper and deeper and it becomes obsessive in our minds. It causes severe mental and spiritual damage. We can get to where we want to hang onto the hurt for dear life because it's almost become a warm blankie for us. Just the retelling of our hurts, however, deepens the rut and we can become very obsessive just in relaying an incident repeatedly.

In it all, a relationship is often lost, a relationship God meant for good, meant to benefit both parties. In God's power, we can forgive and we can forgive that initial hurt and later hurts as well. With God, nothing is impossible. Very often, the thing that will keep the offense growing deeper is pride. In each Biblical example I listed, pride was involved somewhere in whatever went wrong.

We are called to love...in fact we aren't called to love, we're commanded to love. God doesn't suggest we forgive...He commands it.

HOWEVER...what if you've done all you can do to resolve differences, to mend fences? What if that person on the other side of your life still does things to hurt you. They will talk about you believe me because they are caught in a rut of hatred they refuse to deal with.

 

 

What do we do? I would suggest two things...always keep the door of reconciliation open even if it's the opportunity for a casual conversation. The other thing is to really pray for that person. Sometimes it's hard to pray for someone who insists on doing us harm but we are also called on to be people of prayer, and not always to pray for good friends and others we are close to. There are times when we have done all we can possibly do and we must wait on the other person. That person may come around or may not. We must rest in the peace that we've done all we can do.

Anything that is lost, needs to be found. Lost relationships need to be brought back into harmony as God will be pleased and both parties will be blessed.

Dear Father, thank You for wonderful friends and family. If things go wrong in some way, give me Your wisdom as to what I can do to mend those things. You want Your children to get along and may I always seek to do my part in that process. I love You. Amen

'Tis the Season

For unto you is born this

day in the city of David a

Saviour, which is Christ

the Lord.

Luke 2:11

Yes, 'tis the season to be.... whatever we want to be just as it is the rest of the year. Merchants began touting their Christmas wares as early November 1. I hate that Thanksgiving takes a back seat to December celebrations, but that's just the way it is.

It's all too easy to get caught up in the things of the world this time of year. You, like me, saw on news reports the shopping frenzies that took place at Thanksgiving time where people trampled on people and in some cases fought and killed people in their effort to purchase the last Xbox on the shelf. People physically fought over parking spaces. One woman I saw on the news killed another customer by bashing her in the head declaring while hitting the other person that nothing was going to keep her from buying an Xbox for her child. The thing is, that now she's in jail and her child won't get that Xbox for Christmas and will be missing his jail-bird mother for the holidays.

As Christians, we very often get caught up in the exuberance of the holidays as well. Included in that can be church choir programs, children's programs at school and church, parties and yes, shopping. The common thing between the world's concept of Christmas and the Christian's is that we can lose sight of what these days are supposed to mean to us. Do we center thoughts on dolls, bikes, computer games and whatever the latest rage is, or do we remember a Baby in a stable, a baby with not rattles or even stuffed animals. Do we think of the latest TV's, camcorders, handy appliances or a humble couple with no place to deliver their Baby but in a stable with none of the conveniences we are accustomed to.

So what should be our mindset as we participate in the Christmas season, a mindset that would please God any day of the year. We've already concluded that we should celebrate Thanksgiving every day of the year, so why not Christmas as well. There are many ways we can be more for Christ than we've ever been before, thus some reminders (not exhaustive by any means), of some spiritual qualities we can put into action in our lives that would please the Lord. However, all such goals can be attained only through Holy Spirit power. These are gifts that will keep on giving.....so.....

'Tis the season to be:

C – hristlike

H – oly

R – ighteous

I - nfluential

S - erving

T - hankful

M - erciful

A - doring

S - acrificial

The words are simply reminders of the kind of thinking we should incorporate into our lives not just in the Christmas season but every day. Philippians 2:5 reminds us to have the mind of Christ, seeking to be more like Him. Holiness is our being clean before God. When we are righteous, we are simply doing what is right in God's sight. Our influence is in our witness both verbal and in our lifestyle. We are to be servants everyday we live. Thrown in here is our being thankful and that list could go on and on without end. It's a season to be merciful, showing mercy all of those in this season who are in need. Many are needy financially but many are lonely during holidays. Adoration of our Saviour should be with almost every breath we take. Being sacrificial means to take our eyes off of self and looking to the needs of others even if it is costly to us. That could mean giving up material things or even giving up our time.

All of these things mean taking eyes off of self which is the hardest part of it all. However, isn't that what Jesus was about. He came from Heaven to us (Emmanuel: “God with us”) to live a perfect life. We see pictures of a Baby in a manger but must also look ahead some 33 years later. The baby pictures in the mind of Mary are gone and Mary sees her son, a Man on a cross and then standing by an empty tomb. We see the spirit of Christmas from the beginning to Jesus ascending into Heaven...mission accomplished. Christmas day and all it means should be an everyday experience for those of us who dearly love the Christ of Christmas Who fills us with hope and life itself.

Thank You, Lord Jesus for coming to us as You did. I have never deserved one ounce of Your love and sacrifice for me. Help me to look to the needs of others like You did, but keep my focus on You and all You are. Merry Christmas, Jesus. I love You. In Your precious name. Amen

Spiritual Radiance

But we all, with open face

beholding as in a glass the

glory of the Lord, are changed

into the same image from glory

to glory, even as by the Spirit

of the Lord.

II Corinthians 3:18

When Brian and I were first married, for a few years we celebrated our anniversary by driving into Chicago to Moody Bible Institute for a day of their Founder's Week. One particular year, we received a brochure regarding the upcoming conference. One of the main speakers that was going to preach on the Saturday we planned to attend was Dr. W. A. Criswell, of First Baptist Church in Dallas, TX. We both had heard a lot about him, his stand for the inerrancy of the Scriptures and his leadership of one of the largest Southern Baptist Churches in our country.

We went with great anticipation to hear this man of God, and of the Word to be preached to the large crowd that had gathered. It would seem that hundreds of people other than ourselves were greatly anticipating the preaching of this man of God. I believe he preached that day on “Why I Believe the Bible is True.” I may not have the title down pat but it was something like that. I took notes that day but to be honest, I was very distracted as he preached. He took command of the pulpit as if it was his own. He preached hard but with great love. It didn't take long to figure out how he felt about the Bible.

My distraction, however, had nothing to do with his voice, presentation or even what he was wearing. As I watched him preach, his face just seemed to glow. Oh, it wasn't anything spooky. It was a radiance that showed through a man of God who not only loved the topic of his sermon...or the Bible he preached from...but from a man who was passionate about his Lord and who was walking in the closest of communion with Him. It wasn't something that could be put on through pretense. As I sat there, I was listening to a preacher with such credibility that I knew I had to hang onto every word, as it was a word from God Himself.

I am reminded of Moses in Exodus 34 when he came down from mount Sinai. In hand he had the two stone tablets given to him by God. When he came down from that mount, he didn't realize that there was something very different about him...his face was glowing. Aaron and the children of Israel saw Moses that his face was absolutely glowing to the point that it frightened them. They were afraid to even go near him. It was such a distraction as he spoke with the people, that he put a veil over his face. After that, as Moses went to talk with the Lord, he removed the veil. What was the difference in Moses in between his going up the mount and then returning later to the bottom. He had been with God Himself. They had talked together and fellowshipped together. Moses had accepted God's commands for the people and all the while, his countenance was being changed unbeknown to him. Moses' having been with God reflected God's glorious presence. It was a good thing, but it really frightened the people. They didn't understand what had happened in Moses' life atop that mountain.

In times past, I remember people who were either preachers or ladies who taught the Bible in various venues. Many of them had/have a beautiful countenance. The glory of the Lord just seems to shine from many of them. It's, again, something that can't be painted on their faces. You just seem to know when in their presence that the Lord is such a part of their lives that cannot be denied. These people are not the most handsome nor always beautiful physically, but the love of Christ just seems to radiate from their faces. Not a one I'm thinking of are looking for attention nor do they desire to be known as the godliest people walking the earth. There is just such a natural, spiritual aroma that exudes from their lives.

By the way, several years after hearing Dr. Criswell on that cold and snowy day in a February probably about 40 years ago, little did I know that we would eventually move to the Dallas area where Brian took a new job. Unbelievably, we eventually joined the First Baptist Church of Dallas. The first time I heard Dr. Criswell preach in that place, there he stood, Bible before him, hand raised often to make a point but with the same godly glow on the face and sweet smile that revealed a man of great compassion.

How do others view you and me spiritually speaking? Like it or not, we are being watched all the time by someone. We aren't called upon to put on a spiritual act for others to see. We are just called upon to let the love of God that stems from a close, loving relationship with our Heavenly Father, show in all we do and say. There is always something so lovely when seeing the glow of a young bride all decked out in her wedding gown and veil. We should be as excited as we anticipate the day of our face to face union with our Heavenly bridegroom...talk about a glow on our faces...can't wait.

Dear Jesus, I long for that day of complete spiritual fulfillment when I can see You in person. Meanwhile, I realize You have things for me to do here on this earth but I must have Your power in my life so that You can love others through me. In Your precious name...Amen

Losing One's Way

In all thy ways acknowledge

Him, and He shall direct

thy paths.

Proverbs 3:6

Still in my single years and with a new car, I decided to take a vacation by myself to the Smoky Mountains, where I now live. I had a great road atlas (that dates me) that I glanced at on occasion. I was pretty sure of myself so didn't feel the need to keep my nose glued to it. The trip would hardly take a day and I so looked forward to just getting away by myself. I still recall passing motels along the way in Tennessee and I smile now. Many of them were only $5.00 per night. That was more than I could spend so looked for the $3.00 ones.

The drive was beautiful as I thought it would be. I took my time driving, not in a hurry to get where I was going. I just wanted to take in everything around me including the beautiful sunshine that never seemed to hide even in any shadows.

I was doing quite well. I knew I had to go straight east on the highway to get where I was going. I decided I would like to see some back country so took an exit and found myself on a state route. I kept heading east enjoying the quaintness of the back country. However, after a time, it dawned on me to check my gas gauge and wouldn't you know, I was running low on gas. I had been on the road for close to an hour and to my remembrance, I hadn't seen a gas station. Finally I came to one that had one gas pump and an old man leaning back in a chair against a torn up building. He sauntered over to the car, put gas in the car. After paying him, he asked where I was headed and I told him. He let me know that I was going the wrong direction. Panic rose up in me like a geyser from Yellowstone, but pride told me to act like all was well so I lied to him indicating that I was just looking for a gas station.

Despite his warning, I got back on the same state road and headed in the same direction...the wrong direction according to the gas station man. I wasn't even passing through any little towns so couldn't tell anything on my road maps. I was panic-stricken. I couldn't tell you to this day where all I wandered until I got back on that main road I had turned off of. By the way, I had almost used up that tank of gas I had purchased from that old man. I didn't get to the mountains until very late that night and by then, had to pay $5.00 for a room. Let me tell you that on my way back home, I stayed on the right road, checking my road map often even if I felt I didn't need to.

On that trip, there were several mistakes I made that caused me great tension despite the fact that I was on a supposedly relaxing vacation. What are some things that led to the nightmare of that day?

1. I had a road atlas but failed to refer to it before launching out into unknown country roads.
2. Despite a man's correction, I refused to listen to someone who knew the roads.
3. Curiosity took me in the wrong direction.
4. Staying on the time-tested road to my destination had become boring.
5. I didn't watch for signs that would have given me information. I can't recall even thinking about directional signs.
6. I kept driving despite the fact that I knew I was lost. All the driving in the world wasn't going to put me back on the right road without help. Pride told me I knew what I was doing.
   

I WAS LOST!!!

There is a real tragedy though for one to lose her way spiritually, and difficult for friends and family to watch it happening. I have never met a Christian who lost their spiritual way who did it deliberately. It happens usually in increments...little by little. Friends may caution and even try to intervene in some way to be of help to an erring one. Their counsel usually goes for nought and it may take something life shaking to wake up an spiritually drifting person.

When one loses her way, amazingly it happens when on the right road. That may sound ridiculous but it's true. It can begin when a Christian becomes distracted or even bored with her spiritual walk. Some may try a church that sounds more exciting than one's own church. This is just one example of one trying something new to perk up enthusiasm. Wrong friends (yes, even in a church setting) can be a means of taking the wrong ramp from that straight and narrow way that we are meant to travel on.

Usually by this time, any council or advice of a spiritual friend is shunned because pride has set in. By now, forget the atlas of life, the Word of God. "Drive on" may be the motto with great anticipation as one continues on the wrong road. By now, that Christian is well aware that she has lost her way. Unfortunately, not heeding correction at this point may be very costly,

One thing I love about God's Word is that He has chosen to share with us the mistakes and warts on the lives of some of our most beloved persons in Scripture. Many erred, wandered and lost their ways just like we are prone to do, but God also shares their return to the right way. David, the man after God's own heart really messed up big time. Moses didn't obey God in something like getting water from a rock. Peter denied his Lord. The prodical son got lost in the world but returned to the favor of his father. Abraham lied but still became the spiritual father of a nation. In every instance, each got back on the right road and was greatly used of God.

When we stray, there may be consequences to pay for it, but it is so worth the return to right relationship with God. The caution is for all of us to watch the signs of our becoming bored and stale in our spiritual walk. It may mean gulping pride and talking to someone about it. It definitely means taking it to the Lord in prayer and ridding ourselves of distractions that would cause us to drift. If we have ever had an erring child, we might be able to feel just a little of how God feels when His children lose their ways. His loving, forgiving arms are always open no matter who we are. Hopefully, lessons have been learned from losing one's way and that person's faith becomes stronger and love for the Lord deeper than ever before.

In Proverbs 3...verse 7, there are three good points of advice for us all:

Be not wise in thine own eyes:

fear the Lord,

and depart from evil.

Dear Father...through Your sweet Holy Spirit keep me alert to those things that would pull me from You onto a way I should shun. I never want to lose my spiritual way and pray for Your strength and leadership in my life like I've never known it before. In Jesus precious name...Amen.

Are We Teachable?

Give instruction to a wise man, and he

will be yet wiser: teach a just man, and

he will increase in learning.

Proverbs 9:9

My freshman History class sauntered into my classroom on the first day of school. I was not only to be their teacher but their class sponsor. However, at the moment, I was anxious to get off to a good start with the subject of American History. It was a great bunch of young people, each one as different as could be from the rest of the class. There was one young man, however, that caused me concern. He sat in his chair, slumped, stretched his legs straight but slanted to the floor before him, crossed his arms and drooped his head. This sight is never one that encourages the heart of a teacher. He was saying more to me by his physical pose than he could have said with a 500 word report. He was saying to me: “I don't like history, I don't like you and I don't intend to even give this class a try.” I'm happy to say that within about two weeks, the Lord and I had managed to change his mind. That history class opened up for him a whole new world.

There have been times when I have thought back to that young man. If a teacher has student trophies of accomplishment, that young man was mine. Just in those beginning weeks, I learned a lot from him. I was forced to look in an imaginary mirror at my own attitudes when I don't feel like being teachable. I've been blessed in the years I've taught ladies. Probably 90% have responded with looks of anticipation as a Bible study was presented, looks that can be very encouraging to any teacher.

During my times of resistance, I wonder how much I've lost out on, refusing to be teachable, especially regarding the things of God and His Word. Oh, I've never slumped in a chair, sending a message to a leader that her efforts with me would be in vain, but in my mind, I was certainly slumped with arms folded.

I find in Scripture that God is the main Person anxious to teach us spiritual truths:

Good and upright is the Lord: therefore

will He teach sinners in the way.

The meek will he guide in judgment:

and the meek will he teach His way.

Psalm 25:8,9

But the Comforter, which is the Holy

Ghost, whom the Father will send

in my name, He shall teach you all things,

and bring all things to your remembrance,

whatsoever I have said unto you.

John 14:26

One of the main responsibilities of the indwelling Holy Spirit is to interpret God's Word for us. One of the reasons we don't get all we should from Scripture is that we never invite the Holy Spirit to teach us what we should know from the Word. Not only will he interpret the Word but will also bring Scripture to our minds sometimes at the oddest of times and He does that because He knows we need it at the time.

Again our Father says:

Thus saith the Lord, thy Redeemer, the Holy One

of Israel; I am the Lord thy God which teacheth

thee to profit, which leadeth thee by the way

that thou shouldest go.

Isaiah 48:17

Are we blessed, or are we blessed? We have His teaching and leadership any time we want it. How teachable and responsive are we to our Heavenly Father who desires to impart His wisdom to us on a regular basis. Am I responsive or resistant?

There are many sources of teaching available to us. For instance, there are those opportunities to teach and be taught by others in our spiritual community.

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom;

teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and

hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your

hearts to the Lord.

Colossians 3:12

There are places in Scripture where we are asked to be teachers regarding specific subjects as in Titus 2:3-5.

The aged women likewise, that they be in

behavior as becometh holiness, not false

accusers, not given to much wine, teachers

of good things;

 

(In this verse, you and I teach by example)

That they may teach the young women to be

sober, to love their husbands, to love

their children,

To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good,

obedient to their own husbands, that the

word of God be not blasphemed.

(It is in this area I believe we who are “more mature”

have failed to live up to our responsibility in teaching

younger women because it is our job to do.)

To teach, we must have been teachable enough that we can pass along what we have learned. God stands ready through His Holy Spirit to teach us from His Word. Not only can we be taught in our private study but through our pastors, Bible study leaders or teachers.

How do we become more teachable?

1. Confess our spiritual apathy to God as the sin it is.
2. Rid ourselves of distractions that can keep us from spiritual interest.
3. Admit to ourselves our lack of spiritual interest. This can be the hardest one.
4. Pray for a spiritually responsive spirit through the Holy Spirit's assistance.
5. Dig in. We must do our part in trashing our spiritually lazy attitudes.

Dear Father:

Show me thy ways, O Lord; teach me thy paths.

Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day. (Psalm 25:4-5) Amen