Respond or React

 

If we live in the Spirit, let us also

walk in the Spirit.

Let us not become conceited,

provoking one another, envying

one another.

Galatians 5:24,25

When I feel the Lord's conviction in my life regarding any changes I need to make in my spiritual walk, it never fails but what God allows testing in those areas almost immediately. When folks come to me with new, good or bad questions, remarks, gripes or complaints, it is then I know I have a choice and that choice has to be made in very quick fashion. The easier thing to do if I'm uncomfortable for some reason is to react and not respond to the individual who has approached me because there is a huge difference between reacting or responding to others. So what are the differences in the two emotions?

Reacting:This can be the easier of the two if one has an I-don't-care-attitude. When one reacts, an answer can be blurted out, often with a louder voice than usual and perhaps with a bit of a frown to the face. When we react, we tend to act in strong opposition with a bit of a raised voice. Negative body language can be another indication of one who is reacting to a stimulus of some kind. Reacting often causes hurt feelings in the innocent party.

Responding:When responding, we often just give a calm answer to a question or remark made for our consideration even if we don't like what has been said to us. We tend to speak a little slower as if trying to think ahead of the next word so as to maintain emotional control. What is said still may be disturbing to us, but we can respond calmly and even have some things in our arsenal to respond with, such as: “Is that right?” or “Let me think about that a minute.” You may need more info about what has been said and unless more info would not be harmful, we can respond with “Do I need more information on this?” Just a few words to break the tension can be a help. If not, taking a nice deep breath before responding can be of even greater help.

The main differences in the two emotions are: volume of voice, temper or lack thereof, body language, speed of speech and perhaps other things depending on the make up of an individual.

Recently, a very kind man and good friend with him and his family came to me with an idea. It was one of those panic button things and my behavior was far from godly. I hurriedly replied and a little louder than needed with a negative reply. I knew on my way home that I had to correct that incident and not on the phone but in person. He was very kind when I talked to him with more kindness than I deserved and kinder than I had been in previous days.

When the Lord charges us with change, it will involve humility that is one of the hardest parts but it is a part of the Lord's teaching in our lives. It isn't easy admitting to people when we've wronged them. We all have opinions about things and issues. There will always be differences because we are all different. But in it all, we are admonished in Scripture to be kind to one another as well as forgiving one another.

Let me give a caution...there will be times when I catch you on an off day when you don't feel like hearing anything from anyone. I'm going to have days like that as well and neither of us are going to know the difference. This is where sometimes we have to give the other person the benefit of a doubt before jumping on the person like a member of a football defensive line. At a time like that, maybe an “uh-huh” or a simple “hmmmm” with a smile would be enough said.

Let the words of my mouth, and
the meditation of my heart,
be acceptable in Thy sight,
O Lord, my strength and my redeemer.
Psalm 19:14

But I say to you that for every
idle word men may speak, they will
give account of it in the day of judgment.
For by your words you will be justified,
and by your words you will be condemned.
Matthew 12:36,37

Lord Jesus, help me to know when to simply shut up. Help me to be sensitive to the feelings of others no matter what they ask of me. You treated common, ordinary people with such love and patience. I really want to be more like You. I love you...Amen.