Monday, June 11, 2012

Be of Good Cheer


These things I have spoken unto
you, that in me ye might have
peace. In the world you shall
have tribulation: but be of good
cheer; I have overcome the world.
John 16:33

Many years ago, while in college, I had a friend, who, if he thought I was having a down day would say to me, “Glendarae, be of good cheer.” I must tell you that on some days, I was not in the mood for passing him on the sidewalk or seeing him in class or in the cafeteria. Some folks seem to like treating the serious feelings of others in a light manner. I know he only meant well but as far as I could see, he was just making a glib comment when he had absolutely no idea what was going on in my life.

With having taught women for several years, many have come to me in different states of mental distress. I'm not a doctor or psychiatrist, but fixed my own list regarding the seriousness of where a woman, young or old was mentally at the time of our conversation. I classified them using words that started with a “d” and they are as follows:

Disappointment - Most of the things I will list starts with this condition and all it entails. Whether we accept the fact or not, life is going to be full of disappointments. There will be people who will let us down. They may intend to let us down or they may not intend any ill will at all. There are circumstances that will disappoint us. At times, we are going to feel very let down, that life has done us wrong. It is here that you and I must get control of our thinking or we are going to fall into the next stage of mental anguish. All the way through these things, however, I understand that there are those with clinical difficulties that might not apply to some of these categories I've listed.

Discouragement - For some, this is the next step down. This word is just what it says. This is the stage where we can easily lose courage to face up to whatever the problem or disappointment may be that is very daunting. It affects our spirit and enthusiasm regarding life. Disappointment in the beginning stage can be hidden by us but when we get to this point, people are beginning to notice that something is wrong.

Dejection – When dejected, a sadness and frustration with others can set in. This is a stage of sadness and even a mild depression. It is at this stage, that we might just want to withdraw from friends and sometimes even family members. At this point, when someone asks “What's wrong?”...we don't know what to answer. It just can't be put into words so we become even more frustrated and even reclusive. The problem is, that by now, we can't really explain things to ourselves let alone to others.

Depression - This is also a word that speaks for itself. In reality it refers to being “pressed down.” Depression is a combination of all of the above. At this stage, one withdraws from people and life as much as possible often demanding to be left alone, comfortable in dim or dark light, longing to spend time in bed or sleeping...feeling such a weight in ones life that it almost feels hard to even move physically. Don't think for one minute that at this stage there is a loss of appetite. This may be the case for many but I have known lady friends who overate when depressed, often gaining pounds they regret later.

Despair - Some might argue that this should be elsewhere in the list but I have seen women at this point who are so low in spirit that they have just about given up on life because of a loss of hope. They have become completely overcome by defeat. By now there can be a loss of appetite, ulcers, headaches, joint pain and other miladies depending on the individual person. One has all but given up on life and may even be suicidal.

Let me hurriedly say this: when ladies have talked to me who bear any of the above problems, usually my first question to such a one is, “When was the last time you had a good physical checkup?” I don't ask that if I know a woman is under a doctor's care. Many women are suffering mental anguish because of a physical problem that they don't know they have. I have known ladies who have found through a thorough checkup that they were suffering from a chemical imbalance, some vitamin, mineral deficiency or even a dietary problem. Physical stages of life must be considered by women as well. Post partum problems can plague a new mother even though she's thrilled with her new baby. Menopause (pre and post) can present a whole new area of woe for many women. Lack of activity can be something else that can cause problems for an otherwise healthy woman. When physical deficiencies are discovered, many problems can be avoided. There are wonderful medications now that can be of help. Please know that I am not minimizing friends I have who struggle with depression on a regular basis. Most I know are very pro-active in getting help, enlisting the encouragement of good doctors and prayer partners.

I think we must be patient with folks who have gone through great trauma. They will be depressed at times and we should have a loving understanding of where they are in their own process. There can be a death in one's family. I know parents who struggle with wayward children. Some folks go through a tough time after surgery because anesthetic can really do a job on the body and mind. Some parents will bid children farewell as they leave for college this coming fall. Some folks go through tough times as caregivers. A terminal illness of a family member can keep a family in disarray. A single mom may be holding down two and three jobs. Let's be sensible and sensitive toward those obviously going through unusual circumstances.

I love John 16:33. Jesus had just given His disciples His final words of instruction. Naturally, they were disturbed...Jesus was leaving and they couldn't sort out exactly what was about to take place. What all He had said to them was to serve a huge purpose. “These things I have spoken unto you, that IN ME ye might have peace.” God's desire for you and me is always that we be people of peace and that peace is to be found in Jesus alone. However, you and I must function in concert with Him. Sometimes we expect that God is going to jump in and remove our every problem, sprinkle us with spiritual foo-foo dust and all will be well. We must have yielded spirits to His will in our lives. Jesus said that those disciples (and thus we too) would have tribulation, problems and yes, disappointments in this life. He mentions that if He must suffer, what makes us think that we, His followers will have a free pass in life, minus trials and disappointments.

As Jesus speaks of peace and yes, tribulation He quickly added: ...”BUT, be of good cheer;”
Why? We are to be of good cheer because He has overcome the world and that takes in every disappointment, discouragement, moment of dejection, times of depression or despair we and others may be enduring.

A few suggestions for any of us:

  1. Be a woman of prayer. God knows our struggles and longs for us to run to Him during the hard times just as a little child would to a parent.
  2. Be in the Word of God. Paul tells us in Philippians 4 those things we should think about. Much of our disappointment and despair can come through our constantly thinking about the wrong things. The Word of God is very practical and strengthening.
  3. Keep a clean slate with God. We are all sinners and mess up more than we would like to admit. Holding onto unconfessed sin can keep us “pressed down” whether we know it or not.
  4. Keep relationships healthy. You may have a friend who just isn't forgiving and will not cooperate with your effort to mend fences. At times, you have to leave those things with the Lord, but He can help with those relationships if we call on Him about it.
  5. Don't hesitate to have regular physical checkups, insisting that good blood work and chemical testing be done. None of us stay in the physical shape we should but we should make every effort to do so.
  6. Be a woman of praise. No matter how down and dull our lives can be at times, praise and worship will always lighten our load if done with the proper motive. God inhabits the praise of His people and that includes you and me.

Lest people think me unsympathetic or lacking in understanding, I must say that since high school, I have had my own struggles with depression so some of these things are very personal to me.  But as strongly as I can, I must state that Scripture is still true when it tells us over and over that with God, nothing is impossible, no matter our condition or situation. Remember that our Lord is our greatest help, loving us like no other ever can. He is interested in every phase of our lives and wants His best for us. We are never alone even though at times we may feel like we are. I don't mind hearing His whisper for me to be of good cheer. He's earned the right to ask that of me.



Lord Jesus...help me to be an overcomer. Satan loves to get hold of our minds and cause us mental anguish and despair. Fill me with Yourself so that there is no room in my life for any of Satan's ploys in my life. I love You and don't know what I'd do without You. Amen

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