Fear or Faith?

For God hath not given us the

spirit of fear; but of power, and of

love, and of a sound mind.

II Timothy 1:7

Probably at this very moment, I could take you to the spot where I parked my car that day, because it's where I usually parked every week day at 3:00 in anticipation of my two girls getting out of school. My son was 2 years old and was usually napping in the back seat while I waited for his sisters. On this particular day, I was a mess. I couldn't remember when I had experienced so many things caving in on me all at the same time and felt at the end of my rope. Oh I know what folks say about that rope, that we are supposed to tie a knot in it and hang on. That cutesie little statement wasn't doing me any good at all on that day.

At that time, I not only had three small children to care for but we had purchased a new house that I was still trying to fix up. I was on the church staff where I headed the women's missionary organization as well as the church nursery department, considered the biggest of any church nursery in the country. Just those two responsibilities were enough to drive me up a wall. That particular week, Brian was also out of town on business. My phone had been ringing off the wall all day with ladies wanting counsel or nursery workers calling in to say they couldn't work on Sunday.

I wanted to sit there and just sob but there were others parked around me waiting for their children...couldn't let them see me cry and didn't want my son to wake up finding me in a heap of self pity. I have had very few times like that day in my life, but the Lord awakened me to a problem I didn't know I had. I reached into my purse and pulled out my New Testament and just started scanning through it. I went to the area of I and II Timothy. Those have always been favorite books of Brian's so for that reason I began to read. I pretty much scanned I Timothy and started reading more thoroughly in II Timothy 1. There it was... verse 7. I read II Timothy 1:7 over and over as I sat there. It was one of those spiritual “aha” moments with a verse that stood out like it was written in neon lights.

The problem I discovered that I had that day was the problem of fear. I was engulfed in it...I was being driven by it. My fears....failure of not measuring up, of not being a good wife or mom, of not being able to please my boss, of not living up to the expectations of so many others and of failing God miserably. It was all closing in on me but there it was...II Timothy I:7. Fears...perhaps some of the same fears you've faced at one time as well as me.

Let me break that verse down:

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear...

Even Scripture recognizes that there is a spirit of fear, but how important to know that no matter the fear, it didn't come from God. The opposite of fear is faith. Our God is a God of faith. If God wasn't giving me that spirit of fear, then where was it coming from? It didn't take a brilliant mind to figure that one out. Satan is the one who delights in instilling fear into our lives. You and I can be as sure as anything that we are born again, God's child, but Satan still loves to make us miserable and a major tool of his is that of fear. You see, if we are in a state of fear, faith is left by the wayside. Fear causes us to lose spiritual focus. That day, I sat there and knew I had to first of all admit and confess the sin of fear that I harbored. I then had to recognize it's source or the battle would go on and on. Just knowing the identity of the enemy is a part of the victory.

Why is it so hard for us to admit sin and shortcomings in our lives when we have a loving God who wants to forgive us and love on us? We become so concerned how others see us that we lose our transparency. It's the transparent Christian that other Christians want to see as does the unsaved world. That day, fear was my secret and I sure didn't want anyone knowing about it.

...but of power,

When you and I asked Jesus to be our Savior, maybe no one told us that in that moment, Someone came to live in us...the Holy Spirit of God. He came in quietly, not pushing His way in or causing any kind of stir with His presence. We have that power in us, day in and day out. He is present to guide, lead, convict, teach us about Jesus, strengthen and on and on the list goes, but we often just ignore Him. The big thing about Him is that He is the same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead on that Easter Sunday morning. I can't imagine from a human standpoint the power it must take to raise a deceased person from the dead. For God it would be nothing, but it's that same Spirit that resides in you and me. We have power to walk in complete spiritual victory if we will only take advantage of it. In my praying, I try to not only address God the Father and Jesus the Son, but I try to remember to address the Holy Spirit as well. There is a problem with having the Holy Spirit in us and that is that He is there, in me...in you... all the time. I'm ashamed to think of the conversations I've had with others that He's had to listen to. He's had to tolerate my attitudes, my actions, my thoughts and yet He has corrected me in love, comforted me when I need it and has always pointed me to Jesus.

...of love,

God has granted you and me the power of love. It's not a love like the world has. The love of the world is conditional but God's love is never conditional and thus, our love isn't to be conditional either. In our humanity, there are times when we slip with some of our relationships but God wants those restored despite differences. His powerful love is to flow through us into the lives of others. We live in a sorry world where so many feel so unloved. God has empowered you and me to be his conduit. Many are afraid to love, even some Christians, because of bad experiences of the past. So you see, Satan wants us to be fearful even to love and he will use past memories to deter us from what God wants us to be. Just remember that fear is not God's intent for your life and mine. This love of God is more powerful than any fear that comes into our lives. It's ours for the taking...it's ours to be a blessing in the lives of others.

...and of a sound mind.

Different translators have their own opinions as to what this phrase means. Some say it refers to one's sanity while others feel this phrase refers to a disciplined mind or disciplined thinking. Let me tell you that on that particular school day, I would have settled for either meaning. I needed that day a good portion of sanity poured into me but I also realized that God's intent was for me to have clear thinking controlled by His Spirit. Each of us has the power to be disciplined in our thinking, choosing what we will think about and what we won't think about. The Holy Spirit will so wonderfully direct us in this area of our lives. I don't know how you are, but I can have a negative thing happen to me in the morning and I can chew on that mentally all day long. Have you ever taken a bite of a really tough beef roast and the more you chew on it, the bigger it gets. It's next to impossible to chew it even to the point to where you can even swallow it. Some of our thinking can be like taking a bite of a tough roast and whatever thing happened weighs on our minds all day long and by evening, we're totally worn out. We must carefully choose what we are going to think about. That will lead to our being more disciplined in our responsibilities and activities. It will be in Holy Spirit power that our thinking becomes disciplined.

I learned that day in my car that it's up to me to choose where my focus is going to be. I wish I could tell you that since that day, I've never had another problem in the area of fear. I will tell you though that I memorized that verse and to this day, even if I don't recite the entire verse in times of fear, I manage to speak the first part of it to myself...”For God hath not given me the spirit of fear....” I need to be reminded often that I need to keep my focus on the power and love of God in my life. I also need to be reminded that Satan is the enemy and not my friend. 

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,

Look full in His wonderful face.

And the things of earth

Will grow strangely dim,

In the light of His

glory and grace.

Dear Father, how I thank You for the spiritual victories you bring into my life. Thank you for Jesus and His victory over Satan and death. I also thank You for the Holy Spirit being in me and enabling me to live above all fear and dread. I am so very blessed and thank You, Father, for all your goodness in my life. May I always seek and desire to be a woman of faith and not fear.I love you. Amen.