I Know How You Feel

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord

Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and

God of all comfort.

Who comforts us in all our affliction so that we

will be able to comfort those who are in any

affliction with the comfort with which we

ourselves are comforted by God.

II Corinthians 1:3,4

A few years ago, I was asked to be the new teacher for a ladies Sunday school class. Along with doing that, one of our class members invited members of our class to come to her home for lunch for a get acquainted time. After a lovely lunch, I was asked to give my testimony, tell about myself and give the ladies an opportunity to ask questions.

In the process of telling about myself, husband and children, I mentioned that one of my daughters had a physical condition that is somewhat rare with no known cure at that time. All of a sudden, from the middle of the group, I heard a loud gasp from one of the ladies. It was so noticeable that she verbally apologized for the interruption but went on to say that her daughter had that same condition. I had never met another person who even knew about the condition let alone coming across one who would be in my Sunday school class. In the years after that, that dear lady became a good friend. We could share about our girls on rare occasions. We could look at each other and say, “I know how you feel.”

On several occasions that have become more frequent the older I have become, I have known dear ladies in churches we have attended whose husbands have passed away. I have gone to the funeral home for the visitation times. I have offered my condolences and even hung around to help that grieving lady friend whether she needed a glass of water or fresh tissues to hold onto. The rest of the time, I sat in a corner of the reception room making it a practice to pray for that friend and her family members. I felt a sense of helplessness, wanting to say the right thing or do the right thing. But you see, I was at a loss because my husband is still living. There is no way I could utter those five words, “I know how you feel.”

We have learned as Christians that we will go through testings and trials. We will know disappointment, hurt, illness, and everyday misfortune. Perhaps we have gone to God with our why's and wherefore's with no answer coming forth. For long periods of time, our wonderings and questions might rear their ugly heads still with no answers.

Paul writes under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit regarding the privilege that is ours to be of comfort to others who are going through the toughest of times. In tough times, God has comforted us, maybe using the kindness and thoughtfulness of others in our lives. Perhaps some did or said just what we needed at the time, but we felt a sense of comfort being showered on us. When we have gone through a variety of trials and have been comforted, we are to store those things in the file of our heart and mind.

I have learned in my life that God doesn't want any experience we go through to go to waste. Sooner or later, as we have been comforted, we can use that comfort to comfort others going through some similar experiences. A billionaire may not understand what it is to not have enough money to pay bills or put food on the table. A woman in a good marriage may not understand the plight of a battered wife. Parents with what appears to be perfect children, may not understand parents of a runaway teenager.

However, the person who has gone through those things and others that would be familiar to us, can have an empathy and compassion for another. It's what I call having a “license to comfort.” There are problems of life where we have “earned our stripes.” We're never in a position to be rude, pushy or have a know-it-all attitude. It's a comfort, though, when someone can say to me and I know she knows what she's talking about when she says, “I know how you feel.”

There are some folks when it comes to cares and concerns that I really don't want to talk to. It's those people who have never wanted anyone to know if they've had any type of problems. We don't have to go around airing all of our difficulties but I've learned in general conversation or in reviewing my church prayer list something God allowed me to experience perhaps years ago that a present day friend or acquaintance may be experiencing now.

All of us have that list of experiences that give us a license to comfort. I'll list some of those things that I know about from friends and some from my own experience, such as:

loss of job

death of parents

death of a child

cancer diagnosis

car accident

affair of a spouse

divorce

house destroyed by fire

being robbed

miscarriage

The list could go on and on of traumas that can come into a person's life. We've learned that Christians are not exempt from the problems of life, but we have the advantage of having the love, guidance and protection of God Himself. In it all, we've come through it and we've learned. With that learning along with an attitude of prayer and understanding, we can step in with words of comfort and encouragement for another. We can assure a hurting woman with whom we have a negative experience in common that she's going to make it, that she's going to be okay. We have to remember that everyone responds differently to the trials of life. We will never know totally how someone feels about a heartache, so we must be cautious. At the same time, we must be available with a sensitive spirit as God leads. We don't live in a time where people are super sensitive to the feelings and needs of others. If we are going to be comforters, we will have to pay attention to needs of folks around us. We must stay sensitive to the cares of others, especially when those cares “ring a bell” in our own memory. That will be the time to come along side someone God has put on our hearts...to support, encourage, love and pray for them. Keep that license handy...in this sorry world, it will be much used and needed.

Lord Jesus, thank You first for the trials You have brought me through and for all You have taught me in each one. I pray that I will be sensitive to ladies around me who might be facing some similar testings as I have known. Grant me Your wisdom that I will follow Your leading in comforting others in need. I love You, dear Jesus. Amen.

Who's On The Throne?

Therefore do not let sin reign in your

mortal body so that you obey its lusts.

Romans 6:12

It was June 2, 1953 and I was in my early teens. It was a historic time...a new queen of England was crowned on that day. Her name was/is Elizabeth Alexandra Mary whose father, King George VI had died. His brother, Edward VIII was next in line for the throne, but abdicated because of his love for a commoner who he married. Back then, royalty in line for the throne didn't marry a commoner. These events put Elizabeth in line to be the next monarch of England. This wasn't by far the first female queen of England. Elizabeth’s great-great-grandmother was Queen Victoria.

I remember watching the coronation on television. We were interested in things of England and its goings on. My grandparents had immigrated from Scotland in their early married years. We also had very close friends who had traveled to England for the coronation festivities, so for many reasons, we were glued to the TV set for all of the events. Those friends brought a gift back from those festivities for my grandmother...a souvenir cup and saucer that sits on my cup and saucer rack.

The new queen walked down the main aisle of Westminster Abbey with all of the royal attire a monarch in England wore at the time. Her red velvet robe was trimmed in ermine. We noted colors later as TV broadcasting was black and white then. Shortly after taking her throne and being crowned queen, I'll never forget that her husband stepped forward, knelt before her and swore his allegiance to his wife, her royal highness. I often wondered later how that worked when they got into a spat over their children's activities or what toppings to put on a pizza. He has always maintained proper decorum as the queen's consort.

Queen Elizabeth has as much power as her followers give her. With whatever power she has, she actually has very few friends outside of her family. Most of her human contacts are those with whom she has official dealings. However, people who come into her presence bow or curtsey and keep a safe distance from her bodily, only shaking her hand if she extends it.

Queen Elizabeth reigns from a throne she sits on only for very official occasions. She presents absolutely no problem for us. My interest in that situation has been of mere interest, a thing to watch through the years. I had no say over her becoming queen and she has no say in the events of my life.

However, there is a throne that greatly interests me personally and that's the throne of my life.  That throne will stay occupied 24/7 for the rest of my life. It is never vacant and someone or something is always seated on it. Whatever it is that is sitting on that throne has complete sway over my life whether I am aware of it or not. The same is true for you as well. Rarely do we even bother to take a look at that throne to see who/what is there controlling our lives. We won't see that throne in a newspaper or newscast. It's a very personal sitting place and we have all the say as to what or who is seated there. The object or person never stays there for long because we tend to have short attention spans. There are times when we elevate people or things of the world to that position but as Christians, the only One who has a right to that throne is our Lord Jesus. He is our Lord with every right to complete say over our lives. He has the right to command our behavior, habits, friends and activities. 

 

 

We can never say to Him as children often say to each other, “You can't tell me what to do....You're not the boss of me.” Oh yes He can tell us what to do and He IS the Boss of us. Like it or not, He is Lord. I've heard people referring to their salvation experience as accepting Jesus as their Lord and Savior. There's never been a Christian who could accept Jesus as Lord because He's already Lord, has been through eternity and will maintain that title and position on through eternity. Our job is to recognize Jesus as Lord, treating Him as such in our loving and living. This can only happen when Jesus is occupying that throne in our lives.

Through a backslidden state, nursing unrepentant sin, practicing the things of this world, I can as much as tell Jesus that for the time being, He's on leave from my life's throne. Jesus will never force Himself on us. He's too much of a Gentleman to do that. He wants a season ticket to that throne where He's the only One sitting there.

How do we know if we've allowed other things on that throne, other than Jesus. Our lifestyle will tell us a lot, if we are living in ways that would never please the Lord. During those down times, our spiritual activities and practices will be lagging. We will find if we really want to know that Jesus no longer has first place in our lives, that our Bible reading and prayer will have been pushed to one side if not put completely away. Our moods may be affected and the way we treat others. You see, when Jesus is on our throne, we are focused on Him and not self. When other things take over, it's because we have allowed self to take over. We mustn't let that happen:

For He must reign until He has put

all His enemies under His feet.

I Corinthians 15:25

Anything or anyone that takes Jesus' place of rulership, is an enemy of Christ. He knows how to deal with Satan and his methods.

Praise the Lord...the day is coming when Satan will be kicked to the curb and we'll never have to put up with those things of the world again that Satan uses to get His grip on our lives. Everything will be new and perfect in every way. With joy, we will join in with resounding voices, with the Heavenly throng, singing:

“,,,the kingdom of the world has become the

kingdom of our Lord and of His Christ;

and He will reign forever and ever.”

Revelation 11:15b

In that day, Jesus will have full reign not only of our lives at all times, but of His kingdom as a whole. At that time, every knee will bow and tongue confess that He is God. Hallelujah!!!

Kings and queens of this world may come and go. People will bow or curtsey before them. Their subjects will swear their allegiance for whatever that is worth. However, we have a choice as to who and what we bow before and a lot of that depends on who or what we have placed on the throne of our lives. If I'm going to bow the knee, I want that adoration to have meaning...adoration and worship toward Jesus who is the only One who gives my life meaning.

Lord Jesus, I'm so grateful for Your Lordship in my life. I know I slip when I shouldn't and am so sorry because I want You always on the throne of my life. Rule and reign in my life because I don't have the grit to stand strong as I should. Thank You for strengthening and loving me, even when I don't deserve one moment of Your love or attention. I love you....Amen

Count Your Blessings

Blessed be the God and Father of our

Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed

us with all spiritual blessings in

heavenly places in Christ.

Ephesians 1:3

It's a hymn we have sung through the years, but often a hymn we sing casually with little thought of the words. It's a very familiar hymn that most of us could sing the first verse and chorus by memory. The hymn is, “Count Your Blessings.”

This hymn was written by Rev. Johnson Oatman, Jr. in 1897. He was a bi-vocational Methodist preacher. From the time of his childhood, Rev. Johnson could remember his father singing various hymns with the family. What a wonderful memory. Probably as a result of his father's influence and the leading of the Holy Spirit, Rev. Johnson wrote at least 5,000 hymns in his life. He wrote the words for “Count Your Blessings” while Edwin, a traveling singing teacher wrote the music.

This hymn became so popular in England, and sung so often that it was said that men sang it often through their daytime responsibilities, boys whistled it and mothers rocked their babies to sleep while humming it.

The words are meant to encourage, but at the same time does not cover up the fact that we do go through the most difficult of circumstances at times. Paul tells us in Ephesians 5:19:

Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns

and spiritual songs, singing and making

melody in your heart to the Lord.

In most congregations I have been a part of, it has been so obvious in recent days and months that we have lost our song. Very few people seated in church pews these days are people who take part in congregational singing. Some look around casually, focus on a window or just stare into space. Are we Christians losing our song? We certainly have much to sing about with all God has poured into our lives. I think it was Charles Wesley, that great Methodist minister and hymn writer who said: “Every Christian should personally own two books...a Bible and a hymn book.” He felt we should be singing people, not just in church but in daily living.

Lets look briefly at the first verse and chorus of this wonderful hymn that was written over a century ago but that still is more than appropriate in our own day:

When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed,

I think it's very interesting that this phrase puts it out in the open that life will toss us about. To think we won't be affected negatively by our world is foolhardy. There are days when we will feel like we're tossed around like a boat on a stormy ocean. There have been days I have felt like that.

When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,

The writer doesn't begin this sentence with “If” but with “When.” Discouragement comes from any number of sources. We can get to the point of feeling that life is hardly worth living. We live in a day of much frustration, feeling there is no hope and wondering if our culture as we have known it has no positive future to anticipate. We've all felt those things in these very days.

Count your many blessings, name them one by one,

Then, all of a sudden, the climate of this hymn changes. We are told that despite the first two lines of this hymn, to think of life in a positive way. Not only are we told to count our MANY blessings, but to be specific...to name them as best we can remember them...one by one. I think how often I've prayed to my Heavenly Father, “Thank You for all Your blessings in my life.” Now that I think of it, that's almost an insult. I should be specific in my own mind as well as in my praying. I know there are too many to count in one sitting but I can do what I can every day.

And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Wow...in that process of counting, I'm going to go through a mind blowing period of time. Counting one or two blessings may be good but when we stack them up, we'll be astounded as to God's goodness in our lives, all He's done.

                                                                CHORUS:

Count your blessings, name them one by one,

Don't count in generalities, but don't labor. The Holy Spirit has a wonderful way of bringing these precious things to our minds but we should be as specific as possible.

Count your blessings, see what God hath done;

When we do this meditation of thanksgiving, we'll see clearly God's benefits and blessings in our lives. This kind of thanksgiving isn't just for that one day in November when we eat turkey and dressing.

Count your blessings, name... them... one... by... one,

There is a reason this phrase is repeated. We repeat things of importance and meaning. I had never noticed in this hymn where I should name God's blessings in such a specific manner. By the way, this becomes very difficult if we don't count these blessings with some frequency. It should be a daily procedure, not out of obligation but out of gratitude.

Count your many blessings, see what God hath done.

In our counting process, the wonderful result will be that we can see with our own minds and hearts just how wonderful God has been in our lives. These things might be good things for us to date and write down in a journal. On some of those tempest tossed days that we face, pulling that journal out to read of God's goodness and faithfulness can be a wonderful encouragement...almost like reading old love letters or notes from friends.

I'm determined to work this into my own devotional life. I never want to be ungrateful toward the One I love more than anyone or anything else.

Lord Jesus, I have been so negligent in my gratitude toward You for all of Your goodness in my life. You bless me more than I can count and I often give so little thought to those answers to prayer as well as the special touches You bless me with over and over. I love You. Amen

Grief Is No Fun

...weeping may endure for a night,

but joy cometh in the morning.

Psalm 30:5b

Having been a social worker for many years, I think I've witnessed more grief in the lives of human beings of all ages than I care to see. However, anyone who has drawn breath on this earth of ours will face grief at one time or another. Grief isn't picky. Grief comes into the lives of the youngest and oldest of we human beings. It shows no preference for the rich or poor. It doesn't recognize race or those of certain political persuasions. Grief doesn't notify anyone of its coming. By the way, grief doesn't care if a person is Hell or Heaven bound.

So, what is grief? Grief is the reaction to loss of someone or something to which a bond has been formed. Grief can be summed up in one word...LOSS. Sounds almost too simple doesn't it? Grief comes as a result of losing someone or something. Grieving is that human process of dealing with that loss.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross an expert in the study of grieving was one of the first to come up with five stages of grieving. Other specialists have done their own versions, but in all of these versions, I don't think I've seen any stages of grieving viewed from a spiritual angle. Believe me, I'm no expert on this subject but have seen or experienced grief in my own life to know how the Lord took me through it.

First, what are some of those things that can bring grief into our lives. Some of these things, people may not think grief is involved but it very well can be.

                                ADULTS                                CHILDREN

                                Death of spouse                    Death of parent

                                Divorce                                  Loss of family togetherness

                                Death of parents                    Death of grandparents

                               Job loss                                   Death of pet

                               Miscarriage                             Death of friend or sibling

                               Change of living location         Moving from friends, school

                               Loss of health                          Loss of health

                               Child custody                           Loss of innocence...abuse

                               Lost wedding ring                     Lost blankie

                              Suicide in family                        Loss of parental contact

                              Empty nest                                Siblings leave home

                              Trust                                          Trust

There are probably more things people could grieve over but notice the last thing I put on both lists. This loss of trust can affect us deeply. If we have been scammed, betrayed, had a friend or relative break a promise or even someone of great faith we have admired who goes astray or turns their back on God...these can all be issues of trust for us.

So how do we deal with this thing of grief (loss)? Below are five steps. The world can define each one but so can our faith experience.

DENIAL

One of the saddest things I've seen is in this area where a grieving person can get stuck. This is very difficult because when bad news comes, no matter how it comes, our first natural tendency is to say, “I can't believe it...I just talked to her yesterday...can't be.” That reaction is meant to be a buffer against great shock but most don't stay here. Some of the finest Christians I've known because of their deep faith have often responded with: “Oh Lord, is it true?” Some even ask, “Dear Lord, why?” By the way, it's okay to ask why. Jesus even asked His Father from the cross “Why hast thou forsaken me?” We usually quickly come to the conclusion that God is on His throne and knows what He's doing, despite our sadness.

ANGER

This comes in degrees. Again I consider it a buffer of sorts. The feeling in this area is usually,“It's not fair.” This is an area where a person just can't afford to stay for long. We've all known adults who have lived with anger for years. I've seen adults, angry from their childhood who act out in many ways caused by unrestrained anger. In our day, we hear a lot about people being recommended to take classes in anger management. Judges often make that recommendation to felons who stand before them. Let me say this though that Jesus is the only answer for any kind of anger problems. There's not a psychologist or psychiatrist who through months of talking or medicating have removed anger problems from people. They can only put a person back in denial. Jesus is the answer.

BARGAINING

We've all been here. Most of the bargaining is where people get spiritual, even an unsaved person. Certain statements can be heard such as: “Lord, I'll do anything if You can change this...I'll even be a missionary to Africa.” OR “Please heal her, Lord...give it to me and not her.”

If we haven't said some of these things, we've heard others say some similar things. This is an exercise in futility but at least begins to bring us to some reality. In essence, no matter who we are with faith or no faith, we recognize that God is powerful enough to change things.

DEPRESSION

When the bargaining doesn't work, then is when the bottom drops out and we can enter the depths of depression. To a great extent, this can be normal. When we have faced great shock or trauma through loss, the things that usually happen are loss of sleep, usual routine, spiritual activity, etc. Any of those things under even normal circumstances could bring us to depression. Depression can also come with chemical imbalance in the body that requires a visit to the doctor to discuss medication that might help. Most people in this state feel that life just isn't worth all of this but it is. In all of this loss we will learn and love again with our Lord as our teacher and Savior.

I think of Elisha when Ahab and Jezebel swore to kill him. Elisha fled for his life, running for miles. He went with little sleep, food or water. He was to the point of giving up on life. God stepped in insisting that Elisha stop and rest. He sent an angel to minister to Elisha with sustenance. Job as well went through untold pain having lost his children, health, wealth and respect of his wife. Even he got to the point of asking, “Why was I born?” God had allowed Satan's testing but at the right time, stepped in healing Job and bringing him back to even more wealth, children, etc. In both cases, God was the answer for them and still is for us.

ACCEPTANCE

I have known people who have come to this point quickly, especially when perhaps the death of a loved one occurs after a very long and painful struggle with pain. We never like death but sometimes can see it as a relief for one even though we will still miss them. We may find that wedding ring in a short amount of time. It is here that we can say, “I can make it...God is still working and will continue to work in the hard times.

Some people get all the way to acceptance and fall back into anger and even depression. We can never sit back with a prideful attitude that we have “made it.” You and I have known people who in middle age or older revisit childhood abuse. There are adults who revisit the breaking of an engagement while in their 20's. Satan loves to remind us of negative and hurtful events in our lives.

I don't know how often I have said to folks that when we find ourselves in the middle of great trauma or difficulty, it's too late to prepare for it. Wise is the person who develops good spiritual habits, not that our faith should ever became routine. The practice of regular prayer and Bible reading is a must. We should be involved in our church whenever the doors are open for Sunday school, church services and even Bible study meetings. In saying this, I'm not saying this thing of grief is simple. Grief for some can be a very long journey but when we accept the presence and help of God, it can be of greater help than we can imagine.

May I suggest something that is almost a lost art for most Christians...Bible verse memorizing. We may not remember exact verse addresses at all the right times but the precious words from Scripture can be a soothing balm when we feel great stress. Have different topics of verses in your arsenal...some for praise, encouragement and comfort. For instance:

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind

is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

Trust ye in the Lord forever: for in the Lord

JEHOVAH is everlasting strength.

Isaiah 26:3,4

After all, as Paul tells us in I Thessalonians that we as Christians aren't to sorrow as those who have no hope. That doesn't mean we won't sorrow or grieve but we have a strength as Christians that the world will never understand. We must take advantage of that wonderful strength supplied by our loving Savior. He will never leave us hopeless for He is our hope.

Lord Jesus...Keep me tucked under your arm of love...hold me tight in the palm of your hand so that no matter the grief and sorrow that comes my way can be endured and You will help me come forth as gold. I love you. Amen